while trolling facebook early this morning, i was made aware that today is national coming out day. In reading that, i became overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude. gratitude for being “out.” for being loved by those in my life for exactly who and what i am. not everyone agrees with my sexuality, but most people in my life seem to accept it. and for that, i am grateful.
i remember when i realized i was gay. that feeling of uncertainty. excitement. a new energy that illuminated. i had just been intimate with a woman for the first time. my body spoke to me. and so did hers. it was a feeling i had never experienced before. i was 24 years old. and my life was about to change.
i never quite felt right with men. i was always “one of the guys.” i had boyfriends and experiences with men throughout my younger life, but i never really felt intimately connected to them. They were buddies, not really boyfriends. i tried, but was unsuccessful at playing the heterosexual. even when i thought i was heterosexual!
at 24, i was handed a gift. and since then, i have found passion. intimacy. love. expression. with women. i began to live with a deeper sense of authenticity.
my “coming out” experience was fairly organic. one day, i was gay. and from that day on, i have been gay and will forever be, from what i can tell. life just naturally progressed in that direction for me. i told my closest friends, who claimed to know i was gay before i did. i slowly came out to my family. that was the scariest and toughest part of outing myself. like i said, not everyone agrees with my sexuality, but most seem to accept it.
i feel blessed to have the ability to live without fear of my sexuality. i believe in expression of who i am. and being gay is a huge part of that expression. it does not define me, but it is a permanent glowing impression on my blueprint.
happy #nationalcomingoutday to all. #cmo2012 #countmeout